I’m Still Here

Seriously. I am. I’ll be back.

Dustin and I are having a sit down meeting about many issues soon, and We Do Stuff will be included in those talks. I’d like to bring in new permanent writers, form some solid ideas and directions, and make sure this blog doesn’t die like every other celebrity.

I’m looking to write movie reviews, fantasy sports posts, and other media-related thoughts in the coming weeks.

Please write to us if you have any ideas for the blog, or if you’d like to write for us.

Kyle

Fighting for the Animals

I shouldn’t have to defend myself against claims made on MY OWN blog.

And you know what? It hurts a little. It stings when to give your FRIEND the chance to voice his opinion on your created forum and he decides to stab you in the back by libeling your good name.

FIE ON YOU, JARED. FIE ON YOU.

Did you know Jared wears glasses? What else is he lying about?

But even though it feels like I was just thrown off of Pride Rock into the stampeding wildebeests by my evil brother Scar, I hold no ill will. I’m bigger than that. What can I do if someone wants to write lies about my eating habits and my win-loss record in MLB 2K7?

DEY JUST JEALOUS BABY!

But when you come after my blog-When you question the authorship of my successful, relevant, and popular brain child- well then you’ve gone too far. If Kyle were with us anymore, than I am one-hundred per-cent positive that Jared would already be dead for lying to the public about our WeDoStuff enterprise. After all, it was Kyle who coined the catchy slogan “You write the lie, you gonna cry…and probably die”.

So in Kyle’s memory, I’m calling on our readers. MAKE JARED PAY! He’s a threat to our country. One time while I was looking for my bible in his room I found blueprints Lollypop Farm Animal Shelter. That’s right, you heard it here, Jared plans to blow up innocent and sometimes battered animals. What kind of person does that?

Its up to you readers to make him pay. Because anyone that reads this must also know Jared, I’m calling on you to stop him. Punch him, kick his shins, pull the hair off of that nappy-headed hoe, a simple nipple-twist can do the trick. Just let him know that lying is not alright and neither is hurting defenseless animals. Scuffing his shoes will even suffice to teach this evil man.

Jared! Please, don't hit another innocent kitten with that golf club!

Jared must pay! He ca’t go on lying and hurting innocent animals.

And Jared, if you’re reading…Heed my warning. You’ve recieved the WeDoStuff hex.

We’re about to do your stuff…

-Dustin

Bustin on Dustin

Guest post by Jared Bennett

When Dustin first asked (begged) me to write a guest post (offer a breath of life) for his blog (bastard child of the internet), I saw my role as that of a second string quarterback the coach has overlooked. Put me in coach, it’s my chance to shine. My proud parents were in the stands, waiting for that moment when my years of bench warming would pay off. The cheerleaders were all whispering on the sidelines about me, and not because I accidentally walked onto the field without my helmet. Finally it was my opportunity to extend a metaphor to the point where it has no relevance to my original topic and my readers have left me for twitter.

But the more I thought about writing, the more I realized that something was wrong with this partnership. And not just the fact that I’m actually an athletic stud and have never sat on a bench in my life. It was the title: “guest post.” Was I really going to lend my voice to Dustin and Kyle when I had in fact been in on the original brain trust through which We Do Stuff was forged? That’s right readers, I was there. Imagine the following scene:

Dustin, Kyle and Jared stand at the corner of Ontario Hall waiting for the bus to the library debating how people such as ourselves could become rich. Being that I am not consumed by monetary wealth (I deal more in spiritual wealth, you could call me a Spiritual Financial Planner), I was somewhat aloof on the subject.

Kyle: “How can we get rich quick?”

Dustin: “We could start a clothing company!!! That would be so cool!!”

Jared: “Well. A blog might be nice, we could call it We Do Stuff and it could be about deer and the Real World Road Rules Challenge.”

Dustin and Kyle then share a knowing glance, and the treason was set.

Before this goes too far I need to make it know that I am NOT bitter. Dustin’s argument is that the blog’s name is We Do Stuff and I “don’t do anything.” Those are his words, mind you. Yes Dustin, you’re probably right, people would much rather read about Saved by the Bell reunions than my quest to beat the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, which I almost did were it not for the fact that school ended and besides saving Hyrule, Link’s primary role was to protect me from a productive semester. What I’m trying to say is that Dustin and Kyle needed me a lot more than I needed them.

While Mr. Hobson may claim I don’t do anything blog worthy, one thing I do do is spend a lot of time with the man himself (Knowing this blog’s target audience, I don’t think I have to point out that I just used doo doo in a sentence). I know some of you readers have been wondering why this blog is relatively inactive, and I think my expertise in Dusinography with a minor in Kyle Studies can help lend insight to the issue.

And so we come to the reason behind my guest/founder post: to explain the inexplicable nature of Dustin’s blog habits. I will refrain from talking about Kyle because I like Kyle.

Let me start with the foundation of Dustin’s castle. Dustin hates everything. He hates me, he hates you. He hates red, he hates blue. He hates thyme, he hates rhyme. In my many year as Dustin’s Sweetmate I can honestly think of two things he legitimately likes: mustard and Duane Wade. I think he likes having me beat him in MLB 07 with walk off home runs because he lets me do it so often.

Can you really expect a functioning blog from this face?

So what we have here is a person who regards everything but certain condiments and a semi-decent basketball player with disdain. What could he possibly write about? Franks vs Heinz? And let’s face it, unless you’re talking about Lebron or Kobe, there are only so many words you can devote to a basketball player. So that leaves talk shows and reality tv that no one cares about.

Another aspect about Dustin that can help explain his lack of blog is that he spends an average of 22 hours a day tricking, fooling and lying to people. Nothing would rev the Dust Bunnys engines more than telling 5-10 people that he will keep an interesting blog, then turn around and keep a blog that ranges from incredibly boring to nonexistent. Just like he likes to lie about nonexistent family members and the death of cherished actors from our childhood. (I wasn’t around for this antic, but for those of you Hiltonites that thought it would be funny to spread rumors about Uncle Jesse, grow up. Show some respect.) If Dustin and his friends ever ask you if you want to go to the moon, just say no. It’s not worth the hassle; their requirements for luggage are far too complicated. I said I would bring a spacesuit and tang but I can’t come, but Dustin can bring a dog and a hat. Bullshit. If Dustin’s idea of a joke is to dangle this blog in front of you, repay him by reading vehamantly. He will be hamstrung into maintianing what started as a cruel joke.

So, readers of We Do Stuff, I’m telling you, keep reading this blog. It has the potential to be great, like Perez Hilton. But, keep your expectations at a reasonable level. Aside from Kyle, this blog is run by a maniacal, hating trickster who EATS PAINT. That’s right world, Dustin Hobson EATS PAINT.

- Jared

Blogging Bayside

Mark-Paul Gosselaar's sparkling eyes have caused the 'WeDoStuff' crew to write like that black dude in "Finding Forrester

I was almost roped into a post during the NBA Lottery; Then The National Spelling Bee gave me an itch, followed by the much more entertaining RR/RR challenge: “The Duel” Spelling Bee made that itch a little harder to abstain. But still, I lived a blog-free life.

I can’t stay quiet anymore. After watching a dream that I’ve had many times in my young-adult life materialize on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, I have come to the decision that a post is in order (Not to mention I’m tired of the surprising number of friends complaining that Kyle and I have neglected our blog-child). So here it is:

First, let me explain why Kyle and I haven’t been mindful to your needs to smear a juicy piece of blog all over your face. Despite some rumors I’ve heard, there hasn’t been a falling-out. I’m not mad at Kyle for starting another blog behind my back. Even though the premise of the blog is doomed to fail because no one cares about deer outside of hunting season, It is what it is. The lack of posts are more so a cause of our lazy attitudes. Speaking for myself, I didn’t anticipate the work put into writing a quality post. My half of the blog was conceived as a result of false ambition from taking adderall for studying and the procrastination that also haunts me. However, I’m promising  the loyal few that there will be more posts and the blog shall LIVE.

Onto the reason for the season: The Zack Morris resurrection. What Jimmy Fallon is trying to do is genius. Not only is he throwing the “Saved by the Bell” reunion idea out there; Fallon is actively pursuing the idea and seeking out old cast members. Starting with a desperate-for-attention Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding), the old crew has fallen in line one-by-one.

I thought Gosselaar would be the first in line to say no to an on-air reunion with Fallon. I knew he had a show, but apparently its actually popular. Why would he even consider it? I can see a guy like Haskins being so quick to comply with Fallon. I mean, what else does the guy do? He has to be getting tired of his irrelevance as a celebrity. He probably just sits around all night doing nothing because of his fall from fame.

Gosselaar, on the other hand, has a lot at stake. He has built up a solid reputation as a serious actor. I never expected him to jump aboard the reunion bandwagon. Too often, we see actors obsessed with their image. It looks like Gosselaar hasn’t forgotten the millions of SbtB fans who created him.

The only real obstacle left for Jimmy may be surprisingly hard to convince. If Slater doesn’t want to lose to his mortal enemy again, he’ll take a break from his new found status as a b-lister, and join his old class-mates.

Of course Dustin Diamond is in. His sex tape didn’t sell enough copies to support the diamond family and Dustin is probably looking for money anywhere it could come in.

All in all, I’m excited to see if the cast actually follows through. The hardest part is over. If Jimmy Fallon can pull this off, I’ll publicly acknowledge his abilities as a late-night host and stop basing my judgment of him on “Fever Pitch”.

Keep yelling at us to write, and eventually we’ll write.

-Dustin

I’m sorry to our 3, 4, or 0 loyal readers. I haven’t blogged in many days, and Dustin’s trying to pick up the slack. It’s finals week here at College State, and I’m drowning in minimum wage employment, papers, tests, and vomit. Once I’m back home getting bed sores from couching too hard except too many posts. You’ll get sick of me, I swear.

We love you all.

Continue to read, we’ll make it worth your while in the future, I promise.

And a quick note, if any of our readers are actually interestd in writing a guest post for us, by all means shoot us an email. If you’re white enough we’ll consider humoring you.

-Kyle

MANtasy Factory

Watch this video.

Does anyone have more fun than Rob Dyrdek? If Brett Favre had the most fun in the NFL, then Rob is the Favre of Hollywood…And if I tell you Rob has the most fun in Hollywood 399 more times in this post, then I’m the Ron Jaworski of Hollywood. And if I’m the Ron Jaworski of Hollywood, then is Kyle my Tony Kornheiser or my Mike Tirico? And If Kyle is either of them, then how many more degrees until we reach Kevin Bacon?

Think about it though–This guy is on his way to forty and is having more fun with a career than you and me could ever hope to have. Just thinking about everything he’s done, and gets paid to do, makes me cringe at the 16+ thousand a year I’m shelling out to hang out at a library and eat mediocre pizza.

Even without the new Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory, Rob has still trumped anything that I’ll ever do. Some of my favorite pre-FF moments (with Big Black) include: Rob raising a mini-horse, breaking twenty world records, using an official net gun, posing for a cereal box, becoming “Big Bob”; and my personal favorite: Creating the rap-persona Bobby Light.

That list doesn’t even include what hes done on Fantasy Factory. Theres way too much to even write for that show. So if you haven’t seen it yet, stop reading and go Youtube it. Every episode gives a once-in-a-lifetime thing that Rob gets paid to do by MTV. And when he isn’t doing that, dude sits in his factory all day and makes rediculous PIG shots with a basketball. Tell me you wouldn’t wanna see him in a HORSE contest against two NBA guys. He would have taken O.J Mayo’s HORSE shot from the stands in the NBA All-star weekend and added a dropkick to the ball-off Ernie Johnson’s forehead and in calling “swish”.

Seriously, if a network came to me saying:

“We saw what you did with Big Black and we’re sorry it didn’t work out; but we wanna pay you an inordinate amount of money to build your own amusement park WITH A FOAM PIT, and we want to fund projects that have you rope swinging down mountains, molesting your cousin with a test-dummy, riding in a T-Rex– all so we can film it; AND on your downtime you can learn to drain 3′s  while jumping off a bike in mid air…but the only stipulations are you have to get another AWESOME dog and you have to terrorize the ‘Corporate team’ we cast for you”

At that point i’d push for MTV to let me host Real World/Road Rules Challenge from inside my factory (I’d be alright when they said “no” only because It would prevent C.T. from eating my puppies……and possibly my cousin). I couldn’t sign up fast enough for something like this. O yeah, and as a signing bonus MTV hires a smokin’ hot “receptionist” looking to jump start her rap career by any means…

On top of all the cool stuff that Rob’s show gives me, I actually laugh out loud, intentionally, 3-4 times from the things he says. Thats hard to come by in an MTV show. I don’t know, this stuff just doesn’t get old to me. So keep sinking those 43ft 3-pointers on a skateboard while going over a mini-ramp, Rob….I’ll be in the library; reading.

-Dustin

College

A prison of tears

LESS DEER MORE BEER

Deer? More like STEALER OF JOBS

Let me tell you a thing or two about deer.

1. They stink.
2. They’re uneducated.
3. They think they’re better than me and my family.
4. I’M A HARD WORKING AMERICAN GOD DAMMIT

They waltz in, undercut my cousins wages, and then move into MY NEIGHBORHOOD and swim in MY POOL. I worked overtime for months to pay for that above-ground pool so my boys Caleb and Jackson could enjoy it, and they think they can just throw loud stinky barbecues?

I HATE THEM

We’re holding a town hall meeting in the Kuhl Gymnasium at 7:15 on Friday night if you’re interested. Bring signs. Bring your children. BUT KEEP THEM CLOSE.

-Kyle

Eskimos Don’t Need Shrinks

And Nigerians don’t need ADT.

More Like “The Boners Bloom”

Awesomeville

Imagine the Darjeeling Limited and Catch Me If You Can had a son. Wouldn’t you kill a few family members to become the godfather of that child? I have my scythe ready for The Brothers Bloom to hit theaters in a few months. On May 29th of this year Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel Weisz, and Rian Johnson will impress nationwide.

POSTER!1!

The movie tells the story of the world’s best con men, brothers Ruffalo and Brody. Love gets in the way, money is involved, and Kyle laughs and cries his way to the exit. Money.

I’ll leave you with the trailer for the film.

Ta Ta!

Oh wow I need to write more words.

This is really empty.

…

I’m quite thirsty.

Here we go!

-Kyle

My Dear Terrence, Where Have You Gone?

Facial hair out the yin yang. Or out the face.

You were in Crash. You were in Hustle & Flow. You were in Ray. You were used and thrown out in the Iron Man series.

Fighting? Or is it Fighter?

Really?

You were suave. You had sweet facial hair.

You will be missed.

Goodbye to the Finger

The NBA took a hit today. Dikembe Mutombo, has decided to retire his illustrious fingerwag. After approximatly 5 and a half decades of oaffy post moves, and over-celebrated blocks, Dikembe will be leaving on a note of injury. All we can really hope for, as basketball fans, is that Dikembe will lend his voice to color commentating–or even better, Dikembe will end up on ESPN’s “First Take” debating Skip Balis on an every day basis.

With Dikembe gone, the title of Awkwardly Funny NBA Player has to go to  Chris “Birdman” Anderson. Hopefully the bird sign catches on like the finger wag.

Who Wants to Sex Mutombo?

I’ll leave you with this memory of Dikembe lending his voice to Oscar the Grouch

- Dustin

Revised Mission Statement

$$MAKE MONEY, GET BITCHES$$

Travels

vs

The pilot episode of Straight Man, Gay Penis

What say you?

The Duel II: Let’s Get This Party Started

QUAFF V TROLL CUT: v3.0.

The first two episodes of the 17th Real World/Road Rules Challenge have already aired, and my steroid-induced-rage-coupled-with-fake-breasts-and-free-booze thirst is finally being quenched. In case you missed either episode, allow me to give a brief recap:

Episode 1: CT peppers Adam’s sauce. Adam lightly grates parmesan on CT’s house salad. Both get kicked off and MJ and his man-hair take their places. Nick “Who The Hell Was That Guy” Brown loses in the duel, and we’re left with an EDGE OF YOUR SEAT cliff hanger that leaves us all pondering whether the husky blond girl will take out the gigantic veteran lesbian in a viscious hook fight. #%%$@^#!!!!

Hint: She doesn’t.

Episode 2: Paula sucks. And Kyle is further convinced that Evan is Alton Williams in whiteface and won’t have an ounce of trouble winning this challenge.

It's Evan. It's Alton. It's the guy that's going to step on Mark's old face on the way to $100k.

Episode 3: It takes place tonight in Awesometown USA at 10pm Eastern time on MTV. I’ll have a full review afterward, for all of my loyal readers.

Until then enjoy this clip from possibly the greatest season in MTV history.

Enjoy it guys.

-Kyle